


interconnection

by goodbyekillingharmony



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Danganronpa V3 Spoilers, Heavy Angst, Inner Dialogue, M/M, Vent Writing, and i had a tough week so expect more angsty saimota, i love saimota, if u didnt notice by now, shuichi and kaito r big comfort chars for me, sk yah, yeehaw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 07:59:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18331898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodbyekillingharmony/pseuds/goodbyekillingharmony
Summary: Shuichi reminiscences about Kaito. Recounting his history with the astronaut, and encountring some of his own lingering thoughts about his own self-dount, and how the astronaut was always there for him.Of course, that means that a person like Kaito can't be easily forgotten, no matter how hard Shuichi tries.





	interconnection

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this at like 4 am and im tired and i had a bad week so lol enjoy this epic vent fic bby

I couldn't forget that voice, no matter how hard it was to remember. I couldn't forget everything he's done for me. I couldn't forget how much he's done for me.  
…  
I couldn't forget how he stole my heart, and he probably didn't even know he did. I think that's what I appreciated the most. He didn't even have to say anything, he just had to smile and that would be enough for me. He just had to exist and be right next to me, and I would have still appreciated every minute of it.   
…  
That's why, it doesn't feel real. Nothing feels real. It's fiction, my mind is being filled with fiction…   
…  
W-Why? I thought I knew everything about him, so then, why did he...why did he take someone else’s life? He told me everything will be okay and that I'll always be by his side no matter what…  
So then why did he leave me like that?  
…  
“The impossible is possible. All you gotta do is make it so!”  
…  
Why is that so hard for me to believe, Kaito? W-Why don't I understand anything? Why can't I do anything without you?  
…  
W-Why did you leave me? Y-You were the only one… Y-You were the only one who knew me… I told you about my past… You were the only one who understood how I felt. Y-You helped me, you reassured me, y-you changed me! W-Why didn't I try and s-stop this when I had the chance…? If only I stayed a little bit longer, I could have saved you!”  
…  
All I'm doing is spitting out empty words. It's not like he's even going to hear it, right? What's even the point. It's not like he would have even felt the same anyway… So then why does my heart hurt so much? Why doesn't the feeling go away? W-Why were you even there? W-Why did you care about me, if you were going to die, no matter what-! Why can't you leave my mind, Kaito Momota? Why are you the only one who made me feel this way?  
…  
Why did I fall in love with you so quickly? When I thought I'd just be alone, you were right there… Right by my side, ready to help me, whenever I needed someone… Why did I let you die…?   
…  
...Am I selfish for falling in love with you, Kaito? When you clearly didn't feel anything for me… What if you di- N-No, there's no way that's possible! W-Who'd ever fall for a guy like me, that's just fucking stupid!  
…  
H-How could have you been jealous of a guy like me? I-I'm not anything special and you-! Y-You changed people's lives, Kaito! Y-You changed mine! A-All I did was hang around behind you… I was dead weight. And I always will be dead weight-  
Nothing I'll ever do will make me even a fraction of how amazing you were… Why do I still try then?”  
…  
He deserved so much better. He deserved to go to space and explore whatever is beyond our planet… He didn't even get to do that. Dedicating his entire life around being an astronaut and all he got was a little glimpse of it, right before he died. That's all he got in the end. And look at me… I hate my talent. I want nothing to do with it, if this is all it brings. How many of my friends have to be sacrificed until whoever is running this hellhole is satisfied?  
Why did I have to lose everything?  
…  
Why did I have to lose you? Why did I let you go? Why didn't I do anything to help you? Why do I always run away?  
…  
H-How the hell could you be jealous of a person like me, Kaito? A-And why didn't you tell me that something was wrong? We would have investigated, we would have found a cure, and everything would have turned out fine in the end. W-We were gonna end this killing game, and then I was finally going to tell you how I really feel…   
…  
I hope you're doing well up there. I hope you're illness is gone and you got to see your grandparents.   
Could you just do me one last favor?   
C-Can you please never forget me, like how I’'ll never forget you? 

I'm sorry if this is a selfish request. 

But I can't ever forget you, Kaito. Even if I feel so alone now. Even when I have nobody by my side… You'll always be by my side, right?   
T-That's what you p-promised… t-that you'll never leave me… s-so, please, please help me, Kaito. 

P-Please help me forget you.

**Author's Note:**

> insta - @ninetailsvale


End file.
